Friday, May 6, 2011

Starting over

When I moved back home, and settled into my new place (which, amusingly, was also my old place!) with my best friend, I began to decide what to do, where to go from there. My best friend had just gotten out of a long-term relationship that had started (and ended) just a month before mine. (Weird how all that stuff works out, eh?) So she & I were in much the same place. What now? Almost immediately after my return, we decided that we needed to move in together. Being unemployed (but making enough on unemployment I figured we could find something) we began to search, and my dad offered up the house I grew up in. While we couldn't afford it, they said it was better than no renters and we could try & find someone else before the end of the summer. We were so excited about the idea of living together in my childhood home, we moved in that very weekend, only 2 weeks after I had returned to my hometown. The electricity wasn't even on yet, but we didn't care. We used the light of lanterns and candles and used matches to light the gas stove for the first couple days until our power came on. And it was awesome.

So then I was faced with what I wanted to do next. I was looking for a job (as part of my requirement for being on unemployment), full time, but there wasn't much turning up. I was spending my days lazing on the Internet, playing with my and my roommate's dolls, and just taking things as they came. I had started seeing someone (to my surprise as much as anyone else's) and it was a good summer fling. Reminded me how much there was to love about me and how wonderful being TRULY close to someone really is. And somewhere in there it struck me. Go back to school!

I had dropped out after one semester to move to Cinci and be with the X, and since I hadn't taken courses anywhere else, I just decided to pick up where I left off. All I had to do was "reenroll" which was a simple click of the mouse, and fill out my FAFSA, and here I was. Almost literally right where I was before I left. School began to be the thing I was looking forward to the most about being home, and now as I wrap up my sophomore year, I feel like this was justified. I feel like I'm actually doing something for myself, something to take care of me. If things with Alan don't work out, so what? I'm going to have a college degree and be able to support myself. And I'm going to use it to have a job that I'll enjoy (hopefully, lol) instead of just taking a job because I need one. I'm taking charge, and that's a first.

How do you start over?

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